What is in the sound of a beep beep truck

Of course you all know it. That sweaty feeling. The doctor comes in and you hope he can give you the answer that can lead you to your salvation..,

Before I fucked her I made sure that she didn’t know I was a clown.

I got her off of craigslist. After a few kik messages things got good and steamy.

At work today I was given advice in the form of cliches and now I have no job.

I spend my days in the throes of self-pleasure practices and participate in online hate group forums because of the tight community. I never tell them my minority and non-minority status. I turn and look at the girl and she is sleeping. She is my wife, I love because who else is there. I can’t let her die but the lips are already turning blue. Now I am alone, unlike her, she is one with the world.

My wife is non-existent because I don’t have one. Not even a girlfriend. I never had one because I had money and don’t live in a country where they would recognize our marriage. I am a farmhand surrounded by little bundles of light.

I spend my days in the country and don’t know what much of the technology that is being used by me at work and I write quiet a lot and get underpaid and will see you later, make sure to save me a seat and I tell her a clever pick up line and that was all it took to wait in line to just get my first meal of the day.

The rich can lie to themselves better.

Off to happiness

You can’t remember where it was!

The streets, misty and quiet, I was afraid to lay down on the sparkling pavement. This was a moment. This WAS it. When I look back on my life, before the pento gets into my veins, mixes and mixes sending an oh so pleasant message into my brain, before that happens, I will remember this was it! The pinnacle of the human experience. Unadulterated ecstasy, that is, to lay down on the sidewalk. You people strolling about chasing dreams of thousand dollar bikes! But let me tell you! Let me be a god for just a moment! Just listen to what I have to say- give it to me, I am not real, no past, and certainly no future, no! What I have for you today is something more, something transcendent! Isn’t that what you want? Those jobs and families, they distract you from the truth, become part of this world by leaving it. Bring me that release, rub rub rub. And now, just look up, fall down backwards, arch your back and roll roll roll. Eat the perf, eat it all! I’ll tell you what! So many people in this world and they all shit! Can you fucking believe it? I bet when you are going to work and see the dumb fuck in front of you trying to shove some burrito down their throat you get frustrated and say- when I die, I’ll have known life because of that burrito! No. A thousand times no. Give up, and take the disability check. Let us all congregate and be thankful for the organs we have been given. Let us use these organs and when we are done, do some gouging. Do you hear? We that kind of sick. The deepest kind. Tear and pull. Reach up and reach down. We in Providence, we set.

Flying Birds

Woke up sweaty and a strong urge for a taste of nirvana. The door to my room was open. Curious. A stale taste in my mouth of some kind of chemical. Bruised arms with cuts on my feet. Feeling a strong drive to move, to run, but I am surrounded by concrete.

Plunging into the blue. Going faster and faster. This one is for the birds. Oh the birds. Birds birds birds. You take the seeds from me. I watch you while you eat! How many are in your flock, oh birds birds birds birds birds.

Working in the Sticks

The multitudes…so there we were, there I was, washing dishes. In this industrial sink. Crazy hot dishwasher. Crazy hot steam. And then the music came on. And the rhythm of the stepping of the other staff, and the rhythm of the door to the dishwasher opening and closing, and the music of course. Dare I say we hit upon a moment, let’s be grand shall we? The planets aligned! And there we were, sweaty yet happy. And I just took another stack of dirty dishes. And my dearest friend dried them. A quick look over my shoulder, a pretty girl, a co-worker smiling. And the music crescendoed! And we all started twitching, shoulders pulling, feet tapping, like you would think when you saw some highly produced advertisement. There we were, spanning the color spectrum, from all different types of backgrounds! It doesn’t matter that I’m tired or underpaid! The music man. This is what united us.

Well that lasted about a minute, or really the length of a good snort of yips. That’s the only way to get through- oh and sucking on that fent patch. Grimy reality set in. These fucking people, this overweight bitch that runs this shit show ripping customers off and shoving the excess cash up her rancid cunt. And my ‘friend’ just robbed his neighbor, straight up. The police force is scant here, that kinda thing can happen. And my manager who gets the yips, gets it trucked in from the city. Makes a killing selling it to these naive college students. This shit will fuck up your life- and I’m not speaking from experience. The thing is, your life is already fucked if you are thinking of doing this shit in the first place. I would recommend finding Allah, after all, it’s uber-chic now, all the rage. Find Allah they say, then take up arms to form the caliphate. Grand idea, but no yips there. Need that kinda thing, at least in this life.

And we would cop the extra beer from events, quickly slugging it down, and then quickly relieving ourselves on the van. That big van, it was a luxury piece of equipment. That’s how we transported everything. Moved all the food and equipment. Laborious. This was a rural town. Listen, I’m not looking to sit on my ass all day. But how could you not have some distain for the pompous fucks we served? Spraying their ejaculate all over my face and watching me lap it up. I had to do something. Lord knows the girl waiting in bed for me won’t give two shits about this.

So what could I do? I learned some tricks from they guy who used to hang around the Navajo out west. Learned how to write checks from those blank ones you would get at the generic office store that sold to the college students. It was pretty easy. After all this was a rural town. These guys sold work and ran shit. No opposition, just boys on playgrounds.

Happened to have to work early black friday, spent thanksgiving the night before at the rec. center in town. Was invited by the guy who got the yips from the city. Didn’t realize what happened at rec. centers. These guys were from the city, grew up doing the usual things kids do who grow up in derelict projects. Now they are out here in the sticks doing some weird some hillbilly shit. Pursuing the streets the streets for tired looking woman with cesarian scars. Sure I was into it. What choice did I have?

We got this girl. A smoker, I liked that- everyone here was. Had this shaking in the hands and nervous eyes even when she got fucked up. This girl was skinny. Was crying about how her boyfriend fell asleep in the shower and the thing somehow flooded ruining her tv. What to do now? That’s where we came in. We took her to this apartment complex with cameras outside every door. They were all smashed in.

Enter white room. Big black guy on small white chair. Room is pretty empty. A tv, yes, not much more. Strong small of pot and some other chemical smell. The white  girl is excited. Should she be? My manager, a slow chubby man starts moving fast. Chop chop on the neck, the girl is down. A stunned doe. The duct tape comes out. Do a hot rail off a butter knife. Inhale deeply. Toothpick in teeth, check. Bandana on. Eggplant comes out of the bag. Fuck that, the large black man says. Takes a goddamn rolling pin and cracks the girl in the face. Free flowing ribbons of that dark liquid gold we all lust after erupt. White chick doesn’t really respond. How can she, all taped up! Whoop whoop! Ha. And step one, two, three, four, skip and twirl. Perfect landing. Get good and lathered up with that pure enlightenment coming right out her nose! No tears yet, strange.

Keep in mind brothers and sisters, we are children of God! Blue skies! Fog on mountain tops! Oh dearest me, this is the most euphoric music I’ve ever heard! The large black man, my manger, and I join hands and dance around the writhing suffering little pumpkin! Oh my oh my how I love pumpkin! I think I fell in love! You know it could just be us baby, together. Unsheathed the large black man looks as if he has discovered a new land. Oh this clear night sky! He takes out a putty knife and starts boring a hole into the left breast, under the nipple. Yes this girl has been stripped and fully gagged. And now to dress her! I must have missed the stripping part, can’t get enough of this yips, these hot rails off the stove. Listen white girl, if the sky does come falling down for you, just listen, you hear the crickets? It’s just us baby. Look at what the creator has given us, I mean, me.

Let us go to sleep, shall we?

Trip to the Island?

He was a pretty crusty. I didn’t know what motivated him. Was it the pursuit of that Unattainable? Or was it simply to get his rocks off. I figured the latter based on his latest schemes to push the buttons in his brain. When I saw him a few years after the Incident, he hadn’t been any closer to clarity. Still had the clothes with the rough fabric and the wrinkled, dried out hands that shook. Never saw his actual frame, arms were hidden of course. He had some vague notion of scoring out on the Island. Said he knew the guy through his band. Like it was a band. Like I was even privy to what exactly he was talking about. He said there was this guy, T, and he lived in an apartment off his parents house where he sold the gear from. Came in off a ship supposedly. And what he would do was get these young girls over and show them the Light. He couldn’t stand T. Said his actions were against the Code. I nodded along not knowing what kind of violent history had forged the Code or if the Code was even real. But what this guy said was real. Said he got a baseball bat specifically for T. He just needed some cash to initiate the deal. Then make a move, use his reflexes and grab the gear and make sure no girl would ever go near T again. This was the plan. It was clean he insisted. Real clean. This was a True step towards the Light. Then it would be vacation time. We would have the Sacrament. We would do the Dance. It all sounded so promising, but I couldn’t do it. No way was I paying for a round trip train ticket. What if this was one of his strange K dreams? I hadn’t seen his arms but I saw his eyes. They were dry like his hands, the color evaporated, long gone. He was a gentle kid really. I had raised him after all. I only could shake my head at him. I couldn’t make eye contact.

Nice seeing you man.

Welcome to the Hen House

And I was pacing back and forth. The kitchen was narrow. Clean, but not the kind of place you would want to bring your mother; assuming your mother was not the kind of woman who made it with your friends. But, the situation did not deal with cougars. No, this was a situation of real gravity….

The pitch started out something like…do you feel sluggish? Brain fogyish? Low or high sex drive? Have you ever woken up and not wanted to fuck your wife? How about your sister? Well if you answered any of these questions with either a yay or a nay then this diet is for you!

((Well I guess I did have feelings for my sister when she was becoming a woman))

Forget the paleo diets, forget the vegetable/water/coconut oils cleanses. This is the one that really will do the trick- it’s the last diet you will ever need! How does it work? Let me tell you, and you don’t even need to click here.

((This is easy, I’m already feeling better))

All you need to do is eat the flesh of this one cactus, found deep in the Peruvian mountains and *poof* the fat/libido/feelings of offing yourself just evaporate like a fresh April rain. Better yet, all of this and more will evaporate like an egg laying hen in a wolf’s den. Just send check or money order to:

Captain Trips

P.O. Box 6669

San Rosa CA 14850

And so I did this. Received these cactus cuttings in the mail, put them in some dirt, and followed the directions. I continued to feel the fatigue and brain fog that this life of mine in an urban environment brings, but each morning when I woke up next to the woman I’d be spending the rest of my life with, I felt a little elated. I knew that this cactus would make me want to desire my wife truly and not just rely on her for her money…

Where is this story going? I don’t sense this is a particularly intense situation. You feel a little shitty, like we all do, you bought into some diet fad on the internet and now you feel like you can fuck your wife. Pretty mundane man. My wife not only has a hundred pounds on me now, but I think she is bi-polar. She woke up this morning at 5 and pounded two bottles of wine and started coloring in these coloring books she got at a bodega. Ended up pissing all over the plant my grandmother gave me, said it was the urine of christ.

Christ. Yeah, I see, I mean, why did you marry this woman?

My family participates in this kind of arranged marriage quackery where they try to keep everything within the family, to keep the blood pure so to speak. I’m not saying I’m directly related to her, but she does have the same last name. To be honest, I think she was adopted.

Wife pissing on your plants? Dogs barking at things that aren’t even there? Do you feel your bowels pass things too slowly? Well do I have the diet for you. Out of Africa and into your home, the highly coveted Blue Silk Baboon Penis is a rare artifact of the African bush. Ancient Afrikan cults would slurp up this delicacy in male only rituals in order to restore their vigor and virility. Now you too can be part of this ancient and sacred history. Just fill out the form below with your name, address, banking and routing number and we will express ship 10 Blue Silk Baboon dongs for only 99.95, shipping included! Don’t wait either because this is an offer that will not last- literally! These baboons are almost extinct due to poor conservatory practices and greedy poachers. These African countries really need to get their acts together if they are going to make it in this world. Anyway, the majestic Blue Silk Baboon will no longer be of this earth for long! That is why you need to get your share of shlong NOW!

And that is exactly what I did.

Song of Violence

Hello Allah my old friend,

I’m praying to you yet again,

Because a black flag slowly waving,

Is bringing about all this raging,

And I see children smiling widely hold these guns,

none too fun,

within the sound of violence.

Everyday I walk to work,

Twisted metal, bodies burnt,

In the shadow of where my mosque once stood,

I feel my eyes moisten, I draw my hood,

Chanting a psalm, my body starts to shake, from no earthquake,

and touched the sound of violence.

And when I fell onto the ground, with my entire village and some more,

people rolling around squealing, people laying limp and not moving,

people shouting up to the sky and praying they can quickly die,

Disturb the sound of violence.

For the men in hoods I do not know, violence is no foe,

My words that I want to share with you, let me kneel and pray with you,

but my words like from Allah himself,

echoed in a world of violence.

And the people lined up and danced,

around the black flag that took a stance,

And the leader of this group cast his spell,

broadcasting his message far and wide.

And this man said that the word of god is written in the blood of infidels going to hell.

whispering the sound of violence.