I’m writing you from a bar- drunk- well not really drunk but drunk enough to fuck in public- and I have an idle moment. I’m done talking on the phone. I can’t go home, some judge is inspecting the legality of my living situation. So I’m forced to drink at the nearest bar. And I’ve seen you many times as you have not walked passed. I can’t help but notice the same people. Many people in this world. And they live. And yet you. Some people smile, some scowl how is that supposed to make me feel? Can I feel? I know I got to pee soon. I’m a human. Dead and rotting I want to be at some concentration camp and just straight gassed. Can you believe these nazis?
I’m going on a week long mediation retreat in week- not really. Just said that cuz you may like it. I know no one from my past- you’re the only one. Just future forward. Like that guy on the subway. Like that woman in cemetery you saw on that crazy date. But now you’re in a relationship. Maybe get married and you live. But the colors how can you ignore them? They are so bright. And yet the girl down the street you never noticed and then she’s in your bed. And you can’t do this because you’re flesh and blood and yet you can do this because you are flesh and blood. Who is to know? We don’t live in a police state but you act like it. Don’t you want live in the now, feel you’re alive? What about living in an olive? No you’re crazy, and stop talking about nazis. You are way out of the norm. But I love you. But you don’t feel. Yeah maybe. That’s way I slam dope. Because I’m dead and immortalized in literature- was even in that art film in ’89. How drunk are you? I don’t even know you and your jokes- they are just sick. So I really reflected upon this- after all I tried to fuck her sister. When? Never. Have you seen the latest economist? Nice try. You’re a deviant and should be locked up. Licked up. What did you just say?