I’ve been doing this for years before the internet. What I really got good at was plumbing. I created this device that allows you to quickly and efficiently unclog a toilet. It really is just a one, two. I charge them a hundred bucks and I’m out of there in thirty minutes. Go tell that to your wall street friends. I was cleaning up literally! lower manhattan and some parts of Brooklyn. Down in the Brighton Beach area. I was making stacks, you know what stacks are? Let’s just say it was a lot of money- or how about- you see that movie “Full Metal Jacket”? Yeah? Well, the stacks I made unclogging people’s shit, too beaucoup. Too fuckin beaucoup. That’s French you know.
Man, and let me tell you, the women, they can just smell when you got money. Listen, I’m not the kind of guy that’s going to go out and buy some nice clothes to impress a woman. You see this shirt? I’ve had this for ten years. Ten years! And yeah I know I’m not what you would call a looker, see I haven’t even bothered to get my teeth fixed. But man the women, the women know when you got cash.
I was living in this place in Brighton, you know far down, could have bought it in cash right then, but I rented it- why stay in one place? So I’m walking down the street one day and this broad comes up to me. Gorgeous blonde. I’m talking she’s got the hair, the nails, the tits. And she just comes right up to me asking me if I can give her directions. Before I know it she is taking me to a bar and I’m just getting her loaded. In these situations I don’t really drink, I think of myself as the hunter. Can’t cloud my vision went I go for the neck. Besides, that’s extra money. So I got her over to my apartment. And we don’t leave for days. No no, don’t give me that, look- I didn’t cut her up or nothing, we were just having fun. Man, women I tell ya. This bitch just wanted it. I’m not even in shape and got am pretty short but she just fuckin ate my shit up. Ha no no, she wasn’t into that stuff without having to pay her first. The basic shit is free, just got to provide a roof you know? Simple these bitches are.
Come on man, I know talking about your conquests can get boring. Anyway, had many girlfriends for years man, life was good. You know why everything I own can fit into a hockey bag? Because sluts take things. They steal your shit even when you buy them anything they want. I just couldn’t take it no more. By the way, you know what you should buy into? The new nyc domains they’re selling! Big bucks!